I'm carrying his baby.
I'm doing this for "free."
But as the fine print clearly states,
For nine months, he carries ME.
He brings my plate of dinner
To my nest of soft repose
Yet if he asks, "Will that be all?"
He'll get it in the nose.
I try to keep the kitchen clean,
And make (most of) the meals;
I'll gladly get the laundry done,
And yet at times it feels
As though I can't pull all my weight.
(It's a substantial sum.)
Perhaps it is in true support
The reckoning must come.
I tried to call insurance
One sunny afternoon
To get deliv'ry clearance
For our precious little goon.
After 20 minutes on the phone
I'd yet to get a person.
I started to cry and smacked the phone,
Then quickly got to cursin'.
I knew it was irrational
To get so darn dramatic
And yet I found I did not care,
Though bats had stormed my attic.
And he must deal with this same wifeWho was so calm at lunch
Yet now has inexplic'bly turned
And got her undies in a bunch.
And those undies are enormous;
She weeps about that fact.
And though he swears "It's more to love!"
He's liable to get smack'd...
Or smooched...
Depends upon the day.
Same guy, same girl, same phrase of note,
And yet sometimes he'll pay.
He built a nest of pillows
So I can sleep unpained.
He gave up more than half the bed
Yet his patience is unstrained.
But as I waddled back to bed
From bathroom dark as pitch
I had a grand idea
To help me with my sitch.
Instead of wriggling to and fro
To find my comfy place
I'll vault over the pillows!
Well ...I landed on his face.
He happened to be wide awake
Before the aerial assault
He hugged me and he giggled
That it wasn't just my fault.
In fact - no fault at all, he said
And hugged me to his chest.
"I love you, dear, and all your quirks."
My man, he is the best.
"You're pregnant and I love to see
The changes children bring -
the belly and the craziness -
'Cause I promised with that ring
To hold you up in spirit
Even from across the wall
Of hormones that divides us."
He loves me. After all.
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