Cunning Baby Hat

Oh, we do love Firefly.

After being commissioned to knit a Cunning Hat for a friend's brother's Christmas gift, I decided to try to make a tiny version since said friend's brother and his wife are expecting a baby this spring.

This hat ended up being about 17" in circumference with room to stretch. I don't know how that translates into baby sizes, but it fits our large stuffed goose.

Needles: four US size 6 DPNs (because DEATH to SEAMS)
Yarn: gold, orange, and maroon/burgundy Red Heart (Walmart) worsted weight. One skein of each is WAY more than you need for one little hat (WAY more than one adult and one little hat, actually), but Red Heart (and Walmart) doesn't really do little portions.
Gauge: 16 sts in stockinette = 4 inches on size 6 needles

1. Cast on 60 stitches in ORANGE using the Twisted German cast on method. This will result in a looser, more stretchy start than a normal cast on.

2. Distribute stitches evenly among three needles and join first round, being careful not to twist (this is the trickiest part of the DPNs (how to join and knit on DPNs)). Work 6 rounds in 2x2 ribbing.

3. Switch to stockinette stitch (knit all rounds), increasing 6 stitches evenly over the first round. 66 stitches total. Work 6 more rounds in stockinette. (13 rounds since cast on.)

4. Switch to GOLD yarn. Work two rounds in stockinette stitch. (15 rounds total.)

5. On 16th round, begin to shape the crown. *K9, K2tog* and repeat ** across. On next round, *K8, K2tog* and repeat. Continue to decrease the number of knit stitches by one each round until 6 sts remain. Cut a tail of about 6 inches and use a tapestry needle or a crochet hook to bring the tail through the active stitches in the direction you would knit another round, sliding needles out as you go. Pull tail tight and tie off.

6. For earflaps, pick up 14 stitches from the bottom edge of the hat with RED yarn using one DPN. With the outside of the hat facing you and upside down, tie the red yarn onto the first stitch on the right hand side of the needle. Knit first row, flip hat over. Knit second row (wrong side) and flip hat again. Row 3: Knit. Row 4: Purl. For remaining rows, knit in stockinette (knit on right side, purl on wrong side), and knit (or purl) last two stitches of each row together until 3 sts remain. Bind off.

7. Weave any loose ends into the inside of the hat. Make and attach a red pompom to the top. (low-tech pom pom creation There are more sophisticated methods that turn out nicer, more even pom poms, but by the time I get to the embellishment stage, I'm done being finicky.)

*BLARGH* Third Trimester *BLARGH*

We are hoping and praying that today is not an indication of the next sevenish weeks. Oy.

After a blessed, energetic second trimester and, up until this weekend, start of the third, it seems the fact that I am Montsrously Pregnant has finally caught up with me. Yesterday I decided to Rearrange All the Things! and immediately after the bed (yes. Oops. Bad future mommy.) was in its new position, I was seized with guilt and worry that I had hurt the baby and needed to go to bed. Unfortunately, I had a lunch date with ladies from church and grocery shopping to do after that. Lunch was delightful, but I hardly made it through Walmart afterwards and by the time I got home at 3, I was ready to collapse. That would not have happened two weeks ago. I would've come home and probably done dishes and practiced piano and built a bomb shelter and filed our taxes... before snack.

Sooo... fatigue: 1; Leah: 0.

Today I decided to relax. I got laundry folded, made soup and grilled cheese for lunch, and got crockpot chili started for dinner. Of course, by the time we got to dinner, I had completely lost all interest in anything with beans, hamburger, and... chili. Apart from that, I pretty much lived on the couch. Although there was one minor adventure...

Basic Foot Maintenance in the Third Trimester
If you've never attempted to clip your toenails beyond the Shoelaces Are Evil epiphany of pregnancy, you can attempt to replicate the experience with this simple experiment:
1. Take a carton of eggs, which is actually smaller than your baby at this point, and sandwich it among roughly a dozen filled water balloons. (Note: your baby is better protected than the eggs - and significantly more durable - but of course, as a first-timer, there's no way you'd believe this.)
2. Place the egg baby under your shirt in roughly pregnant-belly position. Secure with tape or large pants.
3. Now try to grab your feet and trim those nails with a sharp, pointy object.

Nick has volunteered to help me with the foot-related tasks, and while I totally trust him, it is not fair that he should suddenly be subjected to both dish duty and my feet. One foot is cute, or at least mostly normal. The other... is not. Grossness. Incarnate in foot form. I would not even pay someone without a medical degree to take on that task. Anyway, I did eventually get all ten toenails clipped to non-sock-murdering lengths.

Next time on Things You Never Wanted to Know About: Shaving when you can't see your feet (Or: Why I will try to never be Monstrously Pregnant in shorts season).

Our life in the last two weeks

The Christmas decorations are still up in our house. Nick and I are hosting our circuit's Epiphany party (late, of course) next Friday, and I figured that was as good an excuse as any to leave everything where it is. Especially because I know taking the tree down will leave a gaping hole in our living room feng shui and the goddess of inspiration is not my best friend at the moment. She thinks I took her for granted when I made a mobile for the baby's room. Anyway, I was all set to leave the decorations up until after the party, but I'm starting to get sick of them. Never thought that would happen. I love Christmas decorations. And Nick wouldn't let me put them up until well into December, so it's not like they've been around since Halloween. But they come down today. Or maybe Sunday. We'll see how it goes. But once they come down, WHAT WILL WE DO FOR AMBIANCE? We have three lamps in the entire house. We are not stylish people. We have recessed lighting on a dimmer switch in the living room, so I suppose that will help, and the only other dim-able lighting is in the baby's room. Great for midnight diaper changes, sure, but when trying to be elegant hosts? "Come! Enjoy your dessert in the nursery! The lighting is perfect!"

Perhaps I need to stop reading interior decorating magazines. Then all will be well.

In other news, The Belly Grows. I thought I was brilliant a couple weeks ago when I purchased a pack of men's "beaters" from Walmart. Maternity camis are easily $15 each, which is a ridiculous price to pay for an UNDERSHIRT. Men's beaters are $12 for a pack of five or six, and they're long and stretchy enough to cover the ever-expanding middle that is my month eight figure. (Seven months done, in the eighth month, for those of you playing along at home and completely bamboozled by the insanity that is pregnancy math.) What I didn't count on, however, was the ribbing. It helps make them super stretchy and comfy, of course, but it also kind of clings to the shirt on top of it, so unless the beater is tucked into the pants, everything still follows the path of least resistance and winds up around the belly button. Still not popped out, btw. Now mostly just flat. Nick is adjusting.

I have three pairs of maternity pants that I wear regularly. They are rotated with the three pairs of sweatpants that are the uniform of a soon-to-be Stay At Home Mom. A pair of high-banded gray corduroys (my favorite), a pair of flare-legged, high-banded but a little snug jeans, and a pair of tapered jeans with a low, thick elastic waist. The last pair of jeans is the most versatile, since they're a) denim (in the loosest sense; stretchy maternity "denim," which is probably mostly spandex or lycra or some synthetic blend) and b) not prone to falling down. The problem is that this baby has never liked things pressing on him. He tries to get away from the doctor every time she tries to find his heartbeat. He pouts whenever my stomach gets too full or I become selfish enough to take a deep breath, only assuring me that he is, in fact, alive when  I've digested enough to make his little acrobatics possible again. He's kind of territorial, it seems. Anyway, when I wear said jeans, he spends most of his day kicking at the waist band. I enjoy feeling his movements more regularly, but he has found one specific spot, and those of you who have been pregnant might know which spot this is, that actually hurts when pummeled. Not fun, little one.

Finally, Nick and I were discussing our dreams over breakfast this morning. I've been having vivid pregnancy dreams for months now, none of which are appropriate for this blog. Last night Nick had what I would call a sympathetic pregnancy dream. Vivid. Weird. But totally blog-appropriate. He said he came into the living room and was apparently not surprised to find two of me watching tv. One of me was in a nest of pillows on the floor and the other was on the couch. The big dilemma in this dream was deciding which of me to cuddle. He picked one and as soon as we touched, the two of me became one of me. Psychologically speaking, I surmise that this dream had something to do with the whole me-having-another-person-growing-inside thing, but Nick insists it was just a "more of you to love" thing.

That's all from our neck of the woods! Have a lovely weekend (almost)!

Seamless Mobius Cowl

1. I hate seams. I hate making them, weaving in their ends, and looking at them. So, while knitting something so large in the round is sometimes kind of a drag, I still prefer it to working flat and having more finishing to do.

2. This particular cowl is for a friend who happens to be a math teacher, so I thought the Mobius idea would be good. It is achieved by making sure the cast on row has a twist in it before beginning the first row of knitting. Somehow, I ended up with a double twist. Dunno how that happened. It looked like a single twist before I bound off...

3. I like the look and texture of seed stitch, but I think next time I'll do it in a basket weave stitch. Could also be done with cables or more decorative elements, but if you're looking for something easy to do with minimal concentration, I think seed or basket weave is the way to go.

4. The yarn and needle info is just what I used; use smaller needles and thinner yarn for a tighter knit. Adjust number of stitches accordingly.

Yarn: bulky weight, in this case self-striping. (If using worsted weight and a solid color, I'd recommend doubling strands as it will speed things up considerably.)

Needles: US 10 circular needles, in this case two cables together for a total cable circumference of about 36 inches. 

Gauge: 17 stitches on US size 10 needles = 4" in seed stitch.

Cast 255** stitches onto size 10 circular needles. I placed a marker every 100 stitches (and at the end of the round) to make counting faster and to break up the seemingly endless rounds, but markers are not strictly necessary.

Straighten out cable before joining and make sure there is one twist in the cast on row. (Still somehow ended up with a double twist. >-<) Carefully pick up and join, starting with a knit stitch. 

FOR SEED STITCH: *K1, p1*, repeat ** around. On second row, begin with a purl stitch. *P1. k1*, repeat around. Alternate rounds, knitting above stitches that were purled on the row before and vice versa. 

FOR BASKET WEAVE: *K3, P3*, repeat between **s around. Repeat round for a total of three rounds. On fourth round, *P3, K3*, repeat between **s around. Repeat for two more rounds. Alternate every three rounds; 3 rounds K3, P3; 3 rounds P3, K3.

When work has reached desired width, cast off in pattern. Weave in loose ends.

Seed stitch *accidental double* Möbius cowl. And a bit of my hair. Front-facing cameras are tough.

Cowl on me. Gotta love the tye-dyed T. If it fits in the 3rd trimester...

**I cast on 255 stitches to create a cowl that was 5 feet in circumference with the given gauge, worked in seed stitch. Or was supposed to. The math was correct, but the finished cowl was 6 feet in circumference. Now attempting 210 stitches in basket weave. Adjust number cast on to reflect your gauge and your desired circumference. ([How big around you want your cowl to be in inches] divided by [4]. Take that number and multiply it by [how many stitches it takes in your yarn and chosen pattern to make 4 inches].) For seed stitch, cast on an odd number of stitches. For a basket weave, cast on a number that is divisible by 6.

*MORE* Signs you're in the Third Trimester

11. Your hips, once thought to be strong and mighty, have turned into huge sissies. They start to ache just because you're lying on them. Really, hips? Really? I have been fortifying you for years with delicious carbs just to have you crap out on me now? I know that physiologically speaking they're aching because of a perfect storm of hormones that are loosening their joints, the sudden presence of a bowling ball-sized belly to support all day, and probably some less-than-perfectly-aligned sleeping positions at night. But I thought we were above all that.
11b. Your husband tells you that while he loves you and is super proud of the extra load you're carrying, he might start sleeping on the couch because, quite frankly, it's hard to get a good night's sleep when one's bed buddy is rolling around every hour, and not as quietly as she'd like to think.
11c. While feeling badly that It Has Come to This.... you can see the silver lining. I'm thinking bedside snacking, something I would never do next to sleeping hubby.

12. The baby can now reach your ribs and deliver super strong pummels to your bladder. Sometimes simultaneously. This prompts you to calmly remind your precious angel that Mommy Is Not a Jungle Gym and consider entering "Mommy's bladder" in the baby book where it asks what baby's first toy was.

13. There are lots of holiday goodies around and you want... ants on a log? Seriously? ...Did we mention how important fiber is at this point?

14. Is it really that important that you get the same exact brand of prenatal vitamins/toilet paper/curtains that you had before, even if it means searching every store in town (and, in South Dakota, several surrounding towns)? YES. HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW THIS WORKS YET?

15. TMI filter not withstanding, you do not feel that casual acquaintances should need to seek revenge by telling you their personal birthing stories. Ever. Unless you ask. And don't.
15b. "Are you going to have an epidural?" has apparently become polite cocktail conversation. And checkout line conversation. And gas pump conversation. New t-shirt idea: "Due March 11. Boy. No name picked yet. How he's getting out is between me, my OB, and the Lord."

16. Your husband knows the baby will be coming into the world sometime soon. He has a general knowledge of how that's going to happen. And that's all he wants to know. He will "listen" supportively when you confide your labor and delivery fears, and he'll be there with you the whole time, but he's secretly wishing he could also get an epidural and just pass out in a chair until everything has been cleaned, stitched, covered, and generally de-goo'd. Want to see something funny? Ask if he'd like to cut the cord.

Feeding the [Post-] College Student

For Christmas this year, one of my brothers wanted kitchen essentials. He's a college student living off-campus and responsible for his own nourishment for the first time. This is a difficult time nutritionally... and bugetarially. I lived on PB&J, mac&cheese, and scrambled eggs for far longer than I'd like to admit once I left the cozy cafeteria. There are still days when, two years into marriage, my poor husband has to make himself a sandwich or fry up an omelette for dinner, so we are by no means experts. I thought, however, with more of my siblings heading out on their own and even well-established cooks looking for new ideas, that it might be a good idea to post some practical, modern survival-cooking tips and recipes.

Cookware Essentials (all ideal for housewarming and showers)(assuming possession of stove, microwave, and fridge/freezer)

• Basic bakeware (cookie sheet, bread pan, muffin pan, pie plate, 9x13" nonstick metal and glass casserole)
• Basic stoveware (small and large saucepans with lids, small and large frying pans with lids, and flat griddle)
• colander/strainer
• measuring cups (for liquid and dry ingredients)
• measuring spoons (recommend 2 sets)
• can opener
• pizza cutter
• silicone whisk and spatula
• plastic (nonstick-safe) flippers (spatulas, technically)(recommend 2) slotted and non-slotted spoons
• wooden spoons (2)
• knives (two paring, one santoku-type, and one bread)
• slow cooker
• glass leftover dishes with lids (safe for oven, microwave, dishwasher and freezer)(the dishes; lids can't go in oven)
• wooden chopsticks or nonstick-safe tongs

Non-essentials, but super nice to have:

• rice cooker
• toaster/toaster oven
• chopperchopper (the thing that you put onion or garlic in and whack repeatedly to chop)
• hand and stand mixers
• blender

Pantry Essentials (things to ALWAYS have on hand)
Non-Perishable/Long-lasting

• parchment paper
• Ziploc bags (quart and gallon size)
• flour (keep in airtight containers or freeze)(sacks from store are NOT airtight)
• sugar
• rice
• olive, vegetable, and/or canola oil
• Crisco
• pasta
• garlic and onion powder (so useful that we buy the large canisters)
• oregano
• salt and pepper
• baking powder and soda
• vanilla
• plain bread crumbs
• seasoning salt
• Italian/garlic salt blends (we like garlic blends for bread and Chef Paul Prudhomme's Herbal Pizza & Pasta Magic)
• potatoes
• garlic
• onion
• peanut butter
• marinara sauce (we like Francesco Rinaldi, the No Salt Added variety. Cheaper and healthier than most.)
• pesto
• 2 cans of favorite condensed soup
• active dry yeast

Perishable

• butter
• eggs
• milk
• chicken breasts (buy a lot when they're on sale, then bag individually in Ziplocs and freeze up to 3 months)
• hamburger (ditto; bag in individual pounds and freeze)
• favorite salad dressing
• bread (we prefer to make our own; it disturbs me that a loaf from the store can last a month in the fridge)
• healthy (ie, high-protein/fiber, low-sodium) snacks (we always have yogurt, almonds, whole-wheat crackers, cheese, and fruit)
• shredded cheddar
• shredded mozzarella
• Parmesan cheese (grated)
• green peppers
• baby carrots
• favorite cheese in sliced form for sandwiches
• lunchmeat
• fresh cilantro (freeze)

Having these items on-hand provides for most of our quick, easy lunches and weeknight meals. Planning those meals once a week (or month) means fewer trips to the store and a well-stocked pantry and can save a lot. For example, there will often be bags of salad or just spinach marked down to $1 because they expire within a day or two. If you have planned your meals to use the more fragile grocery items sooner, you can get the clearance salad and use it before it goes bad. I do our grocery shopping on Mondays, so Monday night might be tacos with the fresh lettuce and still-thawed hamburger; then Tuesday would be taco salad to use up some more of that lettuce and the leftover meat. We love chicken parmesan; we'll have that one night and I'll make enough to have leftovers to put on homemade pizza the next night.

Read labels! We use turkey bacon and turkey pepperoni because a) it's healthier, and b) it's usually pre-cooked so it lasts longer.

When you try a recipe and like it, copy it out onto an index card and file it in an index card holder. That way your favorites are easily accessible and easy to prop up and cook from.

A few helpful links

• USDA fact sheets on safe food handling and freezing: http://www.fsis.usda.gov/FACTSheets/index.asp
• Awesome recipe-search service: allrecipes.com (I like the comments and ratings; makes it easy to find tasty food fast)
• Great tips on cooking for one or two: http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/easy-coooking-for-one-or-two-recipies-and-tips
• A word on Pinterest: we've had about 50% success with Pinterest recipes. People rarely try a recipe out before repinning. Some look amazing but taste awful. Be adventurous, but be warned.

Driving St. Nick Up the Chimney

An ode to my wonderful and long-suffering spouse.

I'm carrying his baby.
I'm doing this for "free."
But as the fine print clearly states,
For nine months, he carries ME.

He brings my plate of dinner
To my nest of soft repose
Yet if he asks, "Will that be all?"
He'll get it in the nose.
I try to keep the kitchen clean,
And make (most of) the meals;
I'll gladly get the laundry done,
And yet at times it feels
As though I can't pull all my weight.
(It's a substantial sum.)
Perhaps it is in true support
The reckoning must come.

I tried to call insurance
One sunny afternoon
To get deliv'ry clearance
For our precious little goon.
After 20 minutes on the phone
I'd yet to get a person.
I started to cry and smacked the phone,
Then quickly got to cursin'.
I knew it was irrational
To get so darn dramatic
And yet I found I did not care,
Though bats had stormed my attic.

And he must deal with this same wife
Who was so calm at lunch
Yet now has inexplic'bly turned
And got her undies in a bunch.
And those undies are enormous;
She weeps about that fact.
And though he swears "It's more to love!"
He's liable to get smack'd...
Or smooched...
Depends upon the day.
Same guy, same girl, same phrase of note,
And yet sometimes he'll pay.

He built a nest of pillows
So I can sleep unpained.
He gave up more than half the bed
Yet his patience is unstrained.
But as I waddled back to bed
From bathroom dark as pitch
I had a grand idea
To help me with my sitch.
Instead of wriggling to and fro
To find my comfy place
I'll vault over the pillows!
Well ...I landed on his face.

He happened to be wide awake
Before the aerial assault
He hugged me and he giggled
That it wasn't just my fault.
In fact - no fault at all, he said
And hugged me to his chest.
"I love you, dear, and all your quirks."
My man, he is the best.
"You're pregnant and I love to see
The changes children bring -
the belly and the craziness -
'Cause I promised with that ring
To hold you up in spirit
Even from across the wall
Of hormones that divides us."
He loves me. After all.